Being Thankful

This Thanksgiving I’m going to do something different, I’m going to give thanks for not only the people in my life, but those that shaped my life and were a part of it, no matter how short.

In some circles I am known as the Grief Lady, the one to speak to and find out if you’re really normal and not just slipping away somehow, the lady that will not judge and empathize with your pain. I would gladly trade that title with anyone most of the time, but then I wouldn’t have known how to deal with so many deaths and may have missed meeting new people. You see after so much loss, something changes and it’s usually you. You become a new person, someone different from the person that was the granddaughter, daughter, cousin, wife, or close friend, you are now. You become the person that is left to find how to be someone without that person you loved.

One thing is certain, you never, ever “get over it”. Every holiday brings renewed pain and looking at that new person in the mirror can be frightening. You long for what was, and for the love that is no longer a phone call away. Tears well up and you just know they will never stop and fear the pain will be as sharp as the day of the funeral. Your fears trap you for a time and you retreat to that unknowing fog that was the only comfort for a while. You watch others plan their holidays with anger in your heart that you have been robbed that same warmth they share with their family. Then, by chance, you find something to make you smile, something that you can remember with a little smile and can move forward again. You can make plans that may seem odd to others, but logical to you to celebrate.

So this year I am doing that, I am remembering those special people, and taking a little time to let you remember them too. Here is my list and feel free to add to the list some of the wonderful people that you wish to thank.

Grandmother & Grandfather – Barbara and John Mikula, Leona and Fred Wilck and Grandfather Henry VonEngeln
Mother & Father – Delores and John Mikula, Charles Rauh Sr.
Aunts and Uncles – Henry & Loraine Brandt, Larry Wilck, Whitey Mikula, Lou Mikula
Cousins – Connie Brandt
Husband – Charles Rauh Jr.
Friends – Judy and Mike Housler, Rich Zwierchowski, Judy Divers, Trip, Gigi, Rose
And finally, my beloved animals, each one unique and giving me something to love and share the many tears. – Scooter, Tina, Sandy, Skipper, Tap, Dieter, Nicky, Daisy, Earl, Susie, Peach, Pumpkin, and Emale.